Hosey: The best Friday is really on Thursday
It is undeniably the most sacred day of the year in this country.
It is a day of outrageous sales and unbelievable bargains, a day to give thanks for all the things we can buy.
Millions spend billions on Black Friday, the annual celebration of consumerism, the yearly festival of materialism.
It’s an American feast day. But the only problem is it’s well into taking over another American feast day.
Black Friday actually begins on Thursday at many stores, sometimes as early 6 in the morning on Thursday. And that creates somewhat of a conflict, as Thursday is also Thanksgiving, which carries nearly as much weight — if not even more — than Black Friday.
Even worse than starting Black Friday at 6 a.m. Thursday is kicking off the festivities at 6 p.m. on Thursday, which is right around the time American families are supposed to be gathered around the dinner table, gorging themselves with turkey and potatoes in recognition of the Pilgrims eating a big meal to celebrate the time the Native Americans helped them live through a perilous winter, only for future visitors from Europe to pay them back by killing them and taking their land away.
That’s what the Thanksgiving holiday is all about. And now, right in the middle of the big meal, which is the whole point of Thanksgiving in the first place, everyone’s expected to get up from the dinner table and head over to Walmart. It seems practically un-American.
But that’s exactly what’s going to happen on Thursday across the entire country. Because sometimes you have to sacrifice to attain your goals. And without sacrifice, you just might miss out on great deals for big-screen TVs, PlayStations and Beats Solo2 Luxe Edition wired on-ear headphones.
If you happen to be among the crowd storming Walmart Thursday evening, make sure to exercise caution.
It seems like every year there are news reports of scuffles and brawls over the deeply discounted merchandise.
Even when it’s not Black Friday you run the risk of trouble at Walmart. At least in the parking lot, if that video we saw last year of a confrontation between two women outside the Walmart on West Jefferson Street is anything to go by.
Whether it’s out in the parking lot or inside the actual store, it’s best not to take too many chances. After all, nobody wants to spend Thanksgiving night in the emergency room or the county jail.
It might also be a good idea to take a moment and prepare yourself for the Black Friday experience. Fortunately, the Walmart Corporation shared helpful tips on how to make it through Black Friday safely and successfully.
The list of tips includes a few pointers you probably could have come up with on your own, like knowing what time Black Friday starts and ends. If you didn’t know before, we already told you the opening bell is at 6 p.m. Thursday.
But there are also a some things you might not have thought of. For example, “Enlist a shopping buddy. Create a plan and divide and conquer,” “Establish a meeting time and place when you have completed your list.” and, “Dress comfortably!”
Now that they mention it, we should have thought of dressing comfortably without anyone having to tell us, as we’ve already seen the risks associated with putting style ahead of functionality at Walmart.
It was right there in that video of the parking lot showdown from last year, when one of the two women blamed her high heels for her reluctance to mix it up with the other. Or it could have just been an excuse, since there was nothing stopping her from taking off her shoes and fighting. So the shoes actually might have come in handy for her.
High heels might be useful when you’re trying to get out of a fight, but they have to be problematic when you’re dashing around a Walmart and grabbing things to buy.
So it makes sense to probably leave the high heels back at home, along with dinner, and anyone smart enough to stick around and eat it.
• Joe Hosey is the editor of The Herald-News. You can reach him at 815-280-4094, at jhosey@shawmedia.com or on Twitter @JoeHosey.